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Wednesday 5 December 2012

What was your worst ever Christmas present?

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Well, writing Christmas books certainly does put one in the spirit! We're bursting with good cheer and would love to share some of that with our readers. So over the next four weeks we Christmas Creche mums will be posting our answers to some fun Christmas questions. We hope you'll join the merriment (and embarrassment :-)) with your own stories.

Ready? What's the worst Christmas present you've ever given, or been given? 

Married by Christmas and Santa Maybe author Scarlett Bailey remembers, "An ex once gave me a dust buster. It was our first and last Christmas..."

A Merry Little Christmasauthor Julia Williams said, "With apologies to my very lovely brother, he once got me Take My Breath Away - a song I have always detested...  I remember trying REALLY hard to pretend I liked it. My other brother also bought me a Beatles album once, then I blogged about how much I hated the Beatles, forgetting he reads my blog...Oops!"

Christmas with Mr Darcy author Victoria Connelly recalls, "I was once given an itchy woolly polo neck jumper. It was agony to wear!"

My So-Called Christmas Carol author Tamsyn Murray, said, "One year, Secret Santa gave me a Father Christmas outfit for my dog. If I tell you that my dog is a Labrador and the outfit was just about the right size for a rabbit, you'll get the idea."

Winter Wonderland author Belinda Jones said, "I once got a stolen library book from a rather eccentric relative but it was a good story as I recall, something horse related..."

Mistletoe in Manhattan author Talli Roland recalls, "The worst present I’ve received was an electric back massager from an ex (who shall remain nameless) so he didn’t have to put the actual effort in. Needless to say, that relationship did not flourish."

Meet Me Under the Mistletoe author Abby Clements said, "I'm the youngest in my family and when I was about five I went through a phase of making all of my presents for my family out of shoeboxes. This was before upcycling got cool, I might add. My sister and brother dutifully displayed theirs  (castle with pop out princesses and tiger in a cage, respectively) on their shelves, for years. Proof that they are lovely people because those presents really were rubbish." 

The Twelve Days to Christmas author Michele Gorman remembers, "My grandfather lived in the same state but couldn't always make it over for Christmas, so sometimes he'd send presents to my parents' house. One year, as we enjoyed glasses of wine by the sparkling tree, full of family love, I opened Grampa's present. My sister stared at it. I stared at it and my step-Dad stared at it. My Mom looked over and said, "Oh how nice, Grampa said you could use that because you're so stressed from working at the bank." In my hand was a 'Wet/Dry Massager', complete with batteries. It was decidedly, er, cucumber-shaped. My grandfather (unwittingly, I hope) had given me a vibrator for Christmas."


With Love at Christmas author Carole Matthews remembers, "My worse present was from my ex Mother-in-law. We'd driven five hours through fog and snow to see them at Christmas, the car loaded up with gifts. (They'd also gone out when we arrived, but that's another story!) My present was a packet of American tan tights with the 36p price label still on them."


And When I Fall In Loveauthor Miranda Dickinson said, "I was given windscreen wipers as my only present one Christmas by an ex. The reason he gave was that the wipers on my car squeaked and it annoyed him!"


We can't be the only ones with terrible present stories! Do you have an appliance-related tale like Scarlett, or Talli or Michele? Silly outfits for your or your pet? Don't be shy: What’s the worst Christmas present you’ve ever given, or been given?
 

17 comments:

  1. When I was 15 I was given a pack of towels by a friends of the family. Now I appreciate towels are useful but even now I could think of better things to get.
    The same people also bought me a 30cm crock bear with a yard of rope wrapped round it when I was in my early teens.
    Xx

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    1. That's definitely not an age-appropriate gift... and as you say, may not be a nifty gift at any age :-)) Have a very merry Christmas!

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    2. What the festive berry is a crock bear?

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  2. I forgot to say, FUNNIEST Xmas present experience ever was a few years ago, when I went to check the presents under the tree at 2am on Christmas Eve after - hic! - a little too much red wine. I managed to spill some over one of my mother in law's presents, leading me to have to an emergency rewrap. The present in question was a rather large bra. I was squinting and squinting to read the name of the giver & concluded it was from Jamie. This was odd, the only Jamie I could think of was an 18 year old great nephew - an unlikely giver of bras to the elderly, but I duly wrote that down. It was only some time later that I realised it wasn't from Jamie, but JANIE, her niece...

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    1. Oh dear, I hope Jamie had a good sense of humour!

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  3. I think Michele has to win for funniest Christmas present EVER! Oh my...

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    1. I'm happy to say that that was even funny at the time ... as opposed to Scarlett's dust buster or Miranda's windscreen wipers!

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    2. Miranda's wipers are straight out of a sitcom. ..

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  4. This is from the "I was re-gifted" file. My first Christmas as my husband's fiance, I bought his ex-wife a spa set. Nothing too expensive, just a nice gesture as he has a son with her and I was trying to start us off on friendly terms. I did not expect anything back.

    Well, three days later when she picked up my stepson she brought me a gift, and insisted I open it in front of her. Inside was a set of...Pillsbury Dough Boy Party Lights. Yes. White stringed lights with plastic Pillsbury Dough Boys over them!

    I thanked her, and after she left, my mother-in-law and aunt-in-law had a fun time trying to figure out what on earth does one even DO with Pillsbury Dough Boy Party lights? At one hysterical moment, my husband's aunt exclaims "I know! I know!" and we all quiet down to hear her great idea. "You can decorate the top of your shower curtain with them so your kids can see the pretty lights when they're splish splashing in the bath... wait a minute, no that's a bad idea..." to which we all howled with laughter over the idea of decorating a shower curtain with ELECTRIC lights.

    The ex-wife and I no longer exchange gifts.

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    1. I'm very glad that cooler heads prevailed at the shower suggestion, or that story wouldn't have had a very happy ending! Thanks for sharing!

      I had a boyfriend at university whose mother liked to buy me the ugliest/most inappropriate clothes imaginable just so I'd have to wear them when I visited. Maybe the ex-wife was hoping for similar!

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  5. My husband and I have an understanding that kitchen utensils are NOT to be bought as Christmas presents! I think these things need to be understood in order for a marriage to work!

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  6. One year, I, as a single young women, received three sets of silver salad tongs from 3 different people. A lovely gift indeed...just made me wonder whether I needed to make a faux wedding registry!

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    1. Hmm, you must have been giving off silver salad tong vibes that year :-)

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  7. How many characters have you got out of that ex MIL, Carole? Sheesh.

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    1. My thoughts exactly! Every writer should have at least one horror relative to rely on for material :-))

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  8. Before online shopping really took off I signed up for a catalogue which promised exclusive, unusual and quirky Christmas gifts for the whole family.

    Brilliant - my family are tough to buy for and quirky and unusual sounded perfect - the catalogue company promised me a 'fabulous' free gift in return for my custom. I waited ... and waited... and eventually this beautifully wrapped box showed up, complete with gift card, saying the company hoped that I fell in love with my specially chosen gift - inside was a steam iron...

    I used their catalogue to line the cat litter tray.

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